October 09, 2014

Dear Friends,
My last Coffee with Jesus invited you to travel with me as I make my last journey here on earth. I don’t want you to literally go with me. Of course, I want you to stay here as long as you can. I was inviting you to join me in my thoughts as I go on my trip.

The trip seems to me to be a down river one. I am being carried along with the current of a mighty strong river. Nothing I can do to stop the ride, so I think a lot. Each morning I start with my coffee with Jesus. I never cease to be amazed at the thoughts He puts in my head. God is so varied! There is nothing dull about our God! He loves off-beat variety. I think about where I am going and what it will be like. Various thoughts come to mind, some are bizarre and some very like what I already know. Is it like our earth or is it beyond that in scope. Our earth once was paradise I know. God pronounced it good, so it had to be perfect before we loused it up. Maybe it is like sliding down rainbows in a giant Cedar Point ride or bouncing from cloud to cloud like a trampoline. Everybody’s idea of heaven is different, I think. Mine is kind of quiet and peaceful with an occasional adventure, good fellowship, and great meal thrown in. The scenery is beyond description.
Like I said, I seem to be in a strong river current. Some days my carrying vessel is a luxury elegant boat easily controlled and filled with lots of my wonderful friends all making me laugh and be happy. We eat, go places, talk and tell stories. Life seems pretty normal. Other days I am on an uncontrollable raft tossed about and my body is uncontrollable too. I can’t get my breath, I can’t sleep, moving from chair to chair just panics me. I see myself going down, down, down- and it is scary.

This current that is carrying me along can make me panicky. I see myself not being able to do as I did the day before, and my heart begins to race, my body tenses up and I find breathing is even harder than it was before. That old raft is tossing me about something horrible. I am still grateful that I can take care of myself personally. I can dress, shower, etc. still, but for how long? It gets harder every day. That is my current fear: needing personal care. Will I need to leave home to get this help? I really love being home and not in an institution. Some of these places are very nice, with elegant accoutrements but I do love my home. So, I think, “How long can I afford to stay here?” I begin to worry and to tighten up and the whole raft takes off rapidly swinging around in this swirling raging river. Where did that calm stream full of friends and laughter go?

I hate it but I have had to resort to medication to sleep and to calm me down. I pray and talk to Jesus but my heart continues to pound and I need a sleeping pill. Progress has me no longer being able to lie flat so I sleep in a recliner to keep my lungs open and my head a little higher than usual.
Each day I seem to lose a little more and sometimes a lot. In a way this is good because it makes a painful journey shorter. Nevertheless, there is that in me that wants to stay with the old familiar things and with those people I love so much. I try to imagine the wonder and adventure awaiting me and find that difficult to do. One thing I don’t do is despair. I can’t help but be overcome with thanksgiving for all I have been given. My children are so attentive. They take wonderful care of me and show their love in so many ways. How can that help but make me happy. My friends call, text and come visit all the time. They are so faithful. My grandchildren, too, call and text. I get encouraging e-mails from all of you. I am grateful for those. Encouragement for each other is a great blessing. God has been so good to me. I can’t thank Him enough.

So my physical problems continue, increase, and they are mighty. So, like I said before, the destination is sure, but the process of getting there is scary.
Jesus is always there; I just must lean on those everlasting arms – crawl into them like a safe haven and wait. The waiting will be worth it and somehow there is a reason for my being here still.

At present I am down in West Virginia with Jim and Kathy. I love being with them. They treat me like royalty. Life is quiet and unhurried. While they are gone, I can read, write, or just putz on fun stuff. Kathy has introduced me to pinterest so I look at all the crafts and other fun things to do. The peak of fall color has come and we ride around the mountains just in awe at the beauty of nature. At night we have been catching up on the fourth season of “Downton Abbey”. None of us ever saw that season. Life here is quiet but absolutely wonderful. Kathy waits on me, brings me my meals on a tray and just makes me feel very special. God is so good to give her to me!
God bless and keep you safe.

Want to be a big help? Encourage others. It means so much! I love you all.

Irma Jane Fritz-Zager

http://www.MyCoffeeWithJesus.com

Coffee with Jesus October 3, 2014

It’s been so long since I have written and I am ashamed of myself. I still have my coffee with Jesus. I don’t think I could start my morning without Him. He’s prompted me often to write but I’ve turned my mind off. I let it run to other less thought provoking areas that require little concentration. They are mostly self serving things like Facebook, puzzles, or just pure lazy junk thoughts that require little effort. Why I’ve done this is inexcusable but I’ll make an effort to excuse myself anyway. I’ve had a lot to learn to live with.
I had a great summer on the island. I was so grateful to have another season there with family and friends. Actually getting around there wasn’t too bad. It is much easier here in my home that is handicapped accessible but everyone helped me out, waited on me, and took such good care of me that it was almost as easy as home in Medina.

I came home right after Labor Day. I found that many things I had done a year ago, I can no longer do. I couldn’t handle my outside lift on my car. It was either stay home or get a car that I can get into with the chair. Jim contacted his people that convert his car for him and guess what? They had a car just perfect for me! I don’t need the same conversions that Jim has. In fact, most folks have to have their car personalized just for their handicapped condition. This one seemed to be done just for me. It was used but only barely. It had only 6000 miles on it! The seat swivels around so I can slide from my chair into the driver’s seat or into the passenger seat if someone else is driving. And it was blue –my favorite color! I was thrilled. Now I have two cars. That is not so thrilling; but I can get out and around by myself still. I could use some prayer about getting rid of my little Ford Escape.

My health is another issue entirely. I have told you before; I have pulmonary fibrosis which is untreatable and there is no cure. I had hoped that it would move slowly and that I might be able to function normally for a few more years. Only God knows how that may progress, but it seems to be moving, filling my lungs with fibers that render the little air sacs in my lungs inoperable. I find it more difficult to move around without gasping for breath and even talking takes my air and I huff and puff. That is the real problem. I do love to talk. (God’s told me before not to talk so much. I didn’t listen so He has taken matters in hand.)

Since there is no more to do for me medically, I have elected to go into Hospice at Home. This is a service provided by Medicare that helps me to function at home to the best of my ability and will be progressive as the help is needed. I surely do want to stay in my home so I am grateful for these services. Mostly what I need right now is to cease all these Doctor visits. I was going to see a specialist two times a week sometimes. Since they really can’t help anymore, why go? Now, if I need a doctor for a minor reason, one will come to me at home. If another problem comes up—I’m not likely to step into any more holes and break a leg, but one never knows—I can get out of Hospice at Home and go to a specialist if needed. I think I have made the right decision. Right now I am going through all the rigamarole of getting into the system with case workers, nurses, etc. When I get that taken care of, I will just say I don’t need a visit this week. (they even call and ask if I want a massage! Would you believe I say “no”?) They are good to come when needed, and to call to see if I am all right alone. Hopefully, I won’t need more for a while.

I have Jesus in the morning for coffee and all the rest of the day too.
It is a new experience in my life to contemplate dying. When I feel myself getting short of breath, it is hard not to be terrified. Breathing is such a natural process I don’t even think about it until I can’t breathe, then I get panicky. That is a natural reaction, I’m sure but one I can’t seem to know what to do with. Learning to deal with my body’s failings is tough. I’ve always been one to do it myself and hate calling for help.
I am not afraid of death at all. I KNOW where I am going and who will be with me all the way. It is the process of dying that frightens me. I have already experienced some of it. When I can’t get a breath, it causes panic, then I tighten up and my heart races to get the air into my bloodstream. This causes my body to tighten even more and it causes more tightening and more distress. My prayer is that I will not cause my kids worry and sorrow as they watch me go.

When I voice thoughts of dying, my friends and family turn me off. They don’t want to think about it and don’t want me to remind them.. They say, “ Oh, Mom! You’ll be around for a long time yet.” Maybe ‘yes’ and maybe ‘no’, but dying is a fact and on my mind pretty constantly right now. If I can’t talk about what is most often on my mind then I feel frustrated. I want to voice my thoughts and I have lots of questions as I think through this whole process. Perhaps they are not profound thoughts or even useful ones. They are new to my experience and I am sure the Lord will be with me as I think it through and go through these days. I am on a journey that we all will one day take. It is a path I watched Doug, Stan and my mother take. Both Doug and Stan seemed unaware of their surroundings and the Lord was good to them as they sort of slept through the process. I don’t think that is going to be true for me. I am still pretty clear in my mind I think. Dying a little at a time physically is going to be apparent to me. Every day I can see something more that seems to be going downhill. Some days it is better and I am thinking it is all in my mind, but I truly know that it is not. My thoughts are maybe funny or maybe helpful, or maybe just ridiculous but I plan to put some of them on paper. I know there have been others who have done this and I will compare thoughts with them. I will share my thoughts with Jesus and He will be my guide as I go along. Actually, He has been prompting me to get going on this for several weeks.

I would like to share this journey with you if you’d care to read about my experiences. In any case, I love you all. You have been on my mind daily as I share my mornings with Jesus. He is so faithful.

My prayer time is full of requests on your behalf and I am so glad to have you for support. You are all very special to me. God bless you all.

Irma Jane Fritz-Zager

Good morning to everyone!

I say good morning but it is not really very good weather-wise. The sky is dark and scary, the wind from the north is cold, and at nine a.m. I have to have a lamp to see by. Besides the weather being cold, I am too. I have a window in my front door that seems to be stuck open. The chilly breeze is persistently blowing in right on me here in my favorite chair in front of all the water and beautiful scenery. It is beautiful even while I am shivering. Nothing can change that. God made it lovely and nothing can alter that, not even the weather.

Things are trying to mess with my optimistic view though. Besides the weather I have been alone here and that tries my conviction that being upbeat is a choice. It’s been a struggle the last two days. My Grosse Pointe family is all working very hard to get packed up to move to Houston. I am so sorry to see them go. They are feeling sad too, I know. Soon they will be up here because their home is sold and will be gone so they have nowhere else to go for a week or two. I am staying here because I want to spend as much time with them as possible before they are so far away. Once they go, I will go home to my wonderful home in Medina, get out on my sun porch and join the squirrels celebrating the fall of the year.

The wedding we so eagerly anticipated is now over and it was all a wedding should be. The bride was so beautiful. I cried when I saw her. The weather was perfect. The little ones were adorable and did their parts perfectly; even Colton, not quite two, pushed his truck with the rings down the aisle as directed. The ceremony was touching and full of God’s direction toward a good marriage. Everyone celebrated their union with good food, music, dancing and fun. God is so good!

They had a table at the door holding a new Bible and a hi-liter. Every guest was to hi-lite his or her favorite verse and sign his name by it; thereby giving the new couple a new memory and a verse to contemplate and live by. I had never seen this done before and thought it a great idea. I had a hard time putting down my verse because I actually have four verses that I use to guide me in my walk with Jesus. So I put down all four and signed each one. Wonder how long it will be before they realize Gramma appears quite often directing their lives from the pages of their new Bible.

Contemplating these four verses, I want to share them with you. They seem to tell me today that I couldn’t find a better way to live my life than to follow their direction.
The first one is Psalms 46:10 “Be still and know that I am God.” I first encountered that one when I entered the hospital in Denver, Colorado, after Jim was hurt. Doug was home with terminal cancer and I was alone trying to cope with that and my darling son’s horrible accident that left him a quadriplegic. Life seemed impossible to deal with and as I walked in the hospital door, there; carved in marble over the chapel door, were these words. They said it all. God was there. He was in charge. Calm down and He will continue to take care of everything.

The second verse to live by is Romans 8: 28. “So we know that all things work together for good to those who love God.” So if God is in charge then He will see that all things will work for good. I do love Him, so end of discussion.

My third verse is Philippians 4: 8. “So whatever is true, whatever is honorable, whatever is right, whatever is lovely, whatever is of good repute,, if there is any excellence and if anything is worthy of praise, let your mind dwell on these things.” So – because God is in charge and He will see that all things work out for the best, I am not to worry but to think positively and stop worrying. I am not to let dark thoughts penetrate my mind, but trust in God to do what He has promised. I’m to dwell on and remember all the good He has done for me and not imagine that bad things will happen. If they do occur, then I am to look for the good that can come from it. I can think about a bad experience as a learning one and one which will equip me to be more compassionate and empathetic to others. I’m to see the bright side of God’s plan and if I can’t then I am to trust that I will. (This is so hard for an experienced worrier like me. I really struggle with this.)

The fourth verse is one of the very best in the whole Bible. It is I John 5:13. “These things I have written to you who believe that Jesus is the Son of God, so that you can KNOW the truth.” The word “know” in this text means in the Greek that one can believe beyond ANY SHADOW OF DOUBT that these things are true. John writes his book as an eye witness who saw and touched the Lord. He saw the miracles done. He SAW 5000 people get fed from five loaves and three fish. He heard the voice from heaven saying “This is my son.” He saw the body of Christ on the cross and saw it again alive and well. Also John saw Jesus in the transfiguration in His glorious new body. John saw all this and attests to others seeing it too. He knows what is true and we can know too. I can know the Bible is true and to be depended on. This is my fourth favorite verse but I could name so many others. I do love the Word of God and am so grateful for it.

So round and round we go in a wonderful full circle. God is in charge. He can take all things and work them out for good to those who love Him. He wants us to remember that and dwell on all the good He has done and that He is. And, finally, He wants us to KNOW that what He has promised and done is all true and He is in charge——

My prayer today is that Joanna and Mike will take that Bible that stood by the door at their reception and cherish it; but also read all the hi-lighted verses, share them, and dwell on them as “all things true”
I also pray for all of you that we can continue in love and care for each other. God is so good.

I love you all, Irma Jane Fritz-Zager

June 30, 2014

A Great Big “Hi” to All of You! I’ve missed you!

I’ve meant to write and actually have scribbled some thoughts since my last “Coffee with Jesus.” However, while I didn’t get those thoughts into the computer, I haven’t missed a single morning without my coffee and definitely haven’t missed a morning without Jesus. He’s always there for me.
I scribble still on paper. It’s easier to sit with paper and pen than to prop up a laptop and type. Besides, since I had no wifi, there was no use putting thoughts on the computer. I couldn’t send it on anyway. That’s my excuse.
Wifi is a biggie these days. Kids, adults, everyone comes here and almost the first question after “Where is the bathroom?” is, “What is your wifi code?” That’s today’s world. No one can exist without their phones, tablets, kindles, etc. Me, too. I’m guilty too.

I am back in my spot on Stag Island. My corner in the cottage has glass on three sides. On the north side I see the bird feeders, in the front, I look out over the water. On the third side I see down south where the weather actually seems to originate and approach. We’ve had some glorious weather here but this a.m. I see clouds scud over the water, blow north, and take my sunshine away. That’s ok, though. I love to see storms come and go.

I’ve had a fun two weeks. I watched my granddaughter process down the aisle to receive her High School diploma. I shared the fun of her graduation party. Then my dear friend, Marie, and her granddaughter drove up to help me get settled at the cottage. I had their loving care and fun presence for five days and then my daughter, Jackie, and my granddaughter, Joanna, came. Jo will be married in July and wanted to have a “fling before the ring” with her bridesmaids, future mother-in-law, and friends. Jess came with her three little ones. We were all female except for Colton who is almost two. My house was full of giggling silly women, who did every girly thing we could think of. Plus eating. We did a great deal of eating. We had a great time.
The girls left, one or two at a time, except for Jess and the kids. They stayed on to play in the sand and water. I loved having them. My great grandkids are the cutest things!

Last Friday, they too, left; but John, my oldest, and his wife, Karen, came by Friday evening. I think all this coming and going has been carefully orchestrated so that I will not be alone here. I am not afraid to be alone, but do appreciate their efforts to care for me.

Karen always brings fun things to do. This time was not an exception. She brought a doodling book! Art work from doodles! That is right up my alley! I love to doodle and do it constantly, wherever I am. I always have a pen in my hand and draw nothings on grocery lists, magazines in the Dr.’s office, church bulletins, and even on Pastor Greg’s sermon note page. I admit it. I doodle pretty constantly in church. I do listen. I do take notes. But I doodle too.

So we are going to take our doodling to a new and productive level. We will make ‘doodle’ greeting cards. We were sitting there, exclaiming over the fun of creating beauty from scribbles, when Karen said, “What would Jesus doodle?” We giggled at that; but if you think about it, Jesus probably did doodle. Did He write something in the sand with His stick or did He just doodle? We won’t know, but what encouraged me the most was the casual acceptance of Jesus’ presence in our home and our activities. His presence here into every facet of our lives is so natural. It seems so right.
Before I really knew Christ as my personal Savior, His name always seemed to be private and almost embarrassing to be used in conversation. I am overwhelmed and proud that my family counts His name and presence as a normal thing.

Jesus will doodle with us. He will be with us in everything we do all day. He is with me at night. Still, my most precious time with Him is always the beginning of the day when I have “My coffee with Jesus.”

What would Jesus doodle? I am sure that like all His creation, it will be beauty, goodness and joy! What will you doodle? Whatever it is, do it with Jesus!
My love to all of you,
Irma Jane Fritz-Zager

Memorial Day Weekend

Good Morning to all of you! I apologize for my tardiness in writing. I have no excuse because I do very little each day and could easily spend more time writing. I guess I must confess to laziness and to pampering myself by doing just what I feel like doing each day. Some days that is just nothing. What can I say? I’m BAD!

Right now I am doing just that. I am sitting in my favorite place in all the world, my comfy lounge chair. This is the chair that sits before my porch windows and swivels in all directions. It lets me see the sun come up in the east, the activity to the north and south, the river flowing by just in front and all the birds and animals doing what birds and animals do. Behind me is the rest of my cottage, my back yard, and the woods. I can’t see that.

I love this panorama before me though. The expanse of water before me is as smooth as glass this a.m. It looks solid and immovable. Still, I know that tons of water, just 50 feet from me, is moving inexorably toward the ocean. Nothing can stop it or impede its progress. It will go on and on until it gets there.

One drop of water can fall in Lake Superior, travel down to Lake Huron, continue through the St Clair River by me, go on through Lake St Clair, the Detroit River, Lake Erie, Niagara River, the Falls, Lake Ontario and on into the St Lawrence River to the Atlantic Ocean. It can get there if that is its final destination.

My life, and yours, is like that one drop of water; carried along through all the lakes and rivers of time. It goes through babyhood, the teen years, marriage, career, parenthood, middle age, grandparenthood, and on to retirement and/or old age. Finally it will reach its final destination: the Ocean of Forever. There may be interruptions on the way. Even an early stop is possible. The travels of that drop of water, your life, can get waylaid or even used up. One drop of that river could be used to help others: to give a drink to a thirsty deer, to water a violet growing along the way, or to wash the little paws of a finicky raccoon. Another drop could fall into disaster. It could be mixed with mud and mire and never flow on again. Another could be taken up into a cloud and float in ecstasy in the air only to be rained down again into the ordinariness of life.

It desperately needs protection from so many pitfalls. It can be steered by outside menaces and end up in a whirlpool going nowhere or even be annihilated somehow. In any case, that same drop of water needs proper guidance to follow the right course if it is to reach the good destination.
I , like that drop of water, have been steered into tight spots, put into joyful journeys, and even taken up into a cloud and rained back down again. I’m still traveling to my final destination, although because of my age and health, I know I am near the end of the journey. However, I have been steered in the right course by the Word. How grateful I am for the Word. John 1:1, “ In the beginning was the Word, and the Word was with God and the Word was God.” Jesus is the Word and He has been steering me along all my life, even when I didn’t know Him as a personal friend and Savior. How grateful I am that He chose to care for me! I am so glad to have Him here with me this morning as I write to you. He is so faithful.

The power that carries the water along in the river out front– I can’t see it—but it is so strong it can carry huge things. The power that carries me along is invisible too. Jesus, the power that is life itself, carries me on. I will rest in His mighty power. He will get me where I need to go.

So, I sit here thinking about the journey of life and of the provision and protection I have had. I praise the Lord for all of it. I am the most fortunate of women. What a glorious gift He has given me! My life has been up and down a lot. However, I am most grateful for all of it. It has been an incredible journey so far. I have wept and learned. I have laughed and learned. I may do more of both, but I know who is in control and the positive ending. Therefore, I can sit here watching the river go by like my life and be certain of the destination of me, a single drop of water that He knows and cares for.

I hope and pray that all of you have a great summer. I look forward to one full of family activity. I think the Lord is giving me another lovely summer on my Canadian island. Getting wifi up there is hard so I have to travel to the club house to send e-mail out. I may not be in contact as often as I would like, but you are always in my thoughts and heart and Jesus is with us always, so we’re OK, right?

God bless you all and I send my love

Irma Jane Fritz-Zager

Coffee with Jesus and the pansies

Jesus said to seek Him with all your heart and soul. He said “Seek and ye shall find”. So I sought and I found.
Guess where I found Jesus this morning? Jesus and His love was found in a great big bowl of pansies!

I come out on my sun porch and get settled with my big mug of coffee. I ask Jesus to be with me as I read my Bible and pray. It is early, only 6:30. The birds are already breakfasting at the feeders. The sun is breaking through and shining on my rear neighbors’ windows bright enough to blind me. The robins are bouncing along the ground and the squirrels are flipping their tails in a frenzy of joy. How could I be anything but joyful too, with all this going on around me?

To add to all this wonder is a big fat pot of sunny yellow pansies. It is a BIG pot with hundreds of miniature pansy faces all looking and smiling at me. Each one is a happy face in shades of sunny yellow and lavender. They actually seem to be bouncing their heads up and down and singing in tiny little voices: “Be happy….” What a greeting for me on this lovely Saturday morning. I have to sing, too, about the creation that God made just for us. “Be Happy….Give thanks….Rejoice in God’s gift of beauty and thank Him for Jesus coming to take away all our sins.” I can’t actually sing anymore, but my heart sings. He made us to shine like the pansies with the most glorious of happy faces.

Jackie brought the pansies over yesterday. How grateful I am to have her so close that she can pop in every day. And bring posies too! Later Jess came over with the kids. She, also, is now close enough to pop in any time. Her girls were so proud when they came in. “We came over by ourselves!” were their first words.

The girls came in, saw the pansies, buried their noses in, and took a deep sniff of the fragrance. Then each one carefully followed a stem down to the root and plucked one flower. The flower was daintily held up for admiration. Colton toddled in, saw the many cheerful flowers in the big pot, and plunged in with both tiny fists. Up came fifty pansy faces and hit the floor in a crumpled heap. No smelling, no admiration, just a look of proud accomplishment of what he’d done. “See? I can pick flowers, too!” He reminded me so much of my little boys who so often came in with their offerings of dangling, wilted dandelions, clutched tightly in a grubby fist; but offered up with a heart of love for momma. I am so thankful for the wonderful gift of memory that the Lord built into each one of us. How beautiful are those memories of my little ones!

I hope you find this day as full of joy as I do. I hold you all up to the Lord in prayer to keep you safe this day and to fill your hearts with thanks to Him for all that He has given us. Have a wonderful day. I hope to get back to you once more before the celebration of His resurrection. Easter is only a week away!

Love to all, Irma Jane Fritz-Zager

Coffee with Jesus January 27, 2014

Hi Everybody! Don’t know why I feel so chipper today, but I do. It’s below zero and so very cold. Even my Eden Pure isn’t enough to keep my sun porch toasty in this weather. No school so the great grands were off and came to see old grandma. I made cookies to eat while they are still warm. I cheat because I buy those cookies at Costco, all mixed, shaped, and ready to place on the cookie sheet and pop in the oven. I don’t lie, I just don’t tell all. They’re yummy even so and my great grand kids are the cutest kids I ever saw.
This is about the fourth day of very cold weather. The wind chill has been way below zero and school has been cancelled. They call off school because some of the kids have to walk in these temps. That means the teens sleep in and then go walk around the shops and the younger ones go out and slide downhill. What ever happened to the oldsters who talked about slogging to school in the 18 inch drifts with nothing but long snow pants and leather shoes? I need to get my stories ready for you all.

IT is bitter cold. I can’t sit out in my favorite spot. I couldn’t get to church yesterday because I’ve become a wussy in my old age. I made the mistake of having a lift put on the back of my car for my chair, instead of getting a van that I could run the chair into. To go out in this weather I have to stand in the snow up to my gazakus, unfasten the chair from the lift, and then drive through the said snow into the church and if I want fellowship later, I have to get out and tool around the building, down the hill, and into the back door to get a cup of coffee and a donut. (The latter is because I chose a 150 year old church to attend and really has nothing to do with snow or weather.) I can’t get to the grocery, need to go to the bank, I can’t get out to DO STUFF!! Does it sound like I’m whining?
Actually, I am living a dream of forty years ago. I would dream of sitting in my chair and having time to read, having time to choose a craft to work on uninterrupted, time to leaf through a magazine looking at pictures and thinking of house décor, time to gaze into the fire and just veg out, time to concoct something sinful to eat and just sit here, forgetting calories and gorging on chocolate and creamy cheese. I can pick out my own junk on TV and watch with no one to criticize or want another channel. I never had time even on snow days to do that. I am warm and cozy with no place to be and no one to ask me for food or to clean up after. I am as alone as I could ever hope to be. That used to be my dream. Now it is a reality. Am I happy with my dream time?

Now I feel blessed when the Greats find time to visit and to crumb up my house. I welcome any interruption to break up the long time I have been reading. There are no kids or husband to care for. There are no students to worry over and take up my time. There is really no place I have to be or anyone looking for me except doctors and nurses who seem to be on every week’s schedule. I haven’t got chores to do as there are people who take care of my house cleaning, laundry, car, shopping, snow in the drive, etc. I am one fortunate person, am I not? My dream has come true in spades.

My point is, we never seem to be satisfied with what we have at the moment. We seem to always want to change the circumstances a bit or a lot. I don’t want to be a whiner. I don’t think God likes whiners. He is everything good, so pessimism is not part of the heavenly scene. He says, ”No more tears, no more sorrow.”

Being negative is not a good choice and it is a choice. I will choose to find the good. I will choose to love where I am right now. I will cuddle up with my warm heated throw, I will look out the window at the six inch hats of snow all the fence posts are wearing and pronounce them beautiful. I will pick up my book and read awhile and then go into the kitchen for cinnamon toast with butter and sugar. I will exchange my coffee for hot chocolate. Outside I will hear the snow plow go by and be glad we have such a thing. I will think how fortunate I am to have a car that has heated seats to keep my duffy toasty, if I should have to travel.

I won’t be a whiner because I don’t think that is pleasing to God or to anyone else and it can be habit forming. God probably meant to make “Thou shalt not whine” the eleventh commandment and just didn’t have room on the stone to put it there. Maybe He chose too big a font to begin with. Or, more likely, He just said,” They can’t handle ten, adding one more will just be a time waster.” I will ask Jesus to join me as I look around me, see all the things He has blessed me with, and give thanks for all of them. I will look around and see all the answers to prayer. I am so thankful for His love and that I have time to contemplate all of this and to have time for COFFEE WITH JESUS. Keep warm and upbeat. Love to all of you.

Irma Jane

Happy 2014 to all of my friends who join me while having Coffee with Jesus.

It is a very cold morning so I am sitting in the sun room with the Eden Pure turned directly on me. My sun room isn’t heated but it is solidly insulated so it heats up quickly and efficiently. I am stubborn, wanting to be in the lightest room I can find—wanting to be there all day, all winter in the light. The Eden Pure is cheap heat and quick heat. I am thankful I have it so I can sit in the sun porch.
It will be two years in April since I started to write the “Coffees”. January seems like a good time to make an assessment of what I have achieved in Coffee with Jesus, January 2, 2014 and where I am going from here.

I started this writing in an effort to get closer in a personal relationship with Christ. I wanted to put Him first, to honor Him, and to feel Him close to me. I had a habit of bringing in my morning paper, getting my coffee, and settling down to a pleasurable time with the news, funnies and crossword puzzle. After that was complete, I had planned to do some Bible reading and praying. I spent a good hour or two before getting to the prayer part. By then the rest of the world was stirring, the phone began ringing, and the interruptions began. If I was to give Jesus quality time, clearly He had to come first. I must start the day with Him. I did that.

It wasn’t easy. The crossword puzzle called. I cancelled the paper. I made it a habit to get my coffee, get comfortable, and then ask Jesus to join me. At first I even asked Him aloud and formally to sit with me while I prayed and read His word. Now I am not so noisy about it.

I have, for nearly two years, followed this format. Ask Jesus to be with me. Read the “Daily Bread.” Read a portion of the Bible. Pray about the people I love, those I don’t love so much but pray for anyway, and then pray for myself: state of mind, state of health, and the progress of the day. This seems to be a good system for me and I get a lot of pleasure from the time I spend this way. I am blessed.

Am I any closer to Jesus than I was? I am certain I am, but still think I have such a long way to go. Jesus has been working on me all the time. I am learning so much and I thought I knew so much! I learned that God works in very small ways. He never seems to be in a hurry like I am. I want it yesterday. God has no time limit. Can you imagine not having any time limits? With God there is eternity—time stretching out forever—no wonder He doesn’t hurry about answering some prayers. The New Year means nothing to Him or any year at all. No pushing against time for Him!

While time doesn’t exist for God, He made the world, put us in it, and then made days, weeks and years for us to go by. He even gave each of us a certain amount of time to live here in His world. Let’s hope He gives us the wisdom to do our best for Him as we use up those years. A big topic for thought there. Anyway, back to my original thought, am I making it? Am I closer to Jesus? Certainly I am closer on a daily basis because I sit here each morning and pray without the previous interruptions. I am closer because I ask Him to be here and He says He is at the door knocking and waiting to be asked in. I am closer because I try to listen and to hear that “still small voice.” I am closer because for two years I have read His word every day and that can’t help but bring me closer to Him. Also, I think I am closer in spirit.

So, as I consider my progress in this new year, I’ve decided I am closer by asking for His presence as I pray and study, but there might just be another and maybe better way to feel close. I have, by necessity, learned to wait. The Lord has taught me patience in big doses. He has also taught me that I have to depend on others to do for me. That is a biggie in humility. He has taught me to graciously accept help and to do that with a smile. He has taught me to ask – maybe the hardest part of all. He’s taught me also that others want and need to give and to help and that I need to be on the receiving end for a change. These are BIG LESSONS for someone who has been very independent all of her life. I have been the one who could do everything.

Jesus has been so faithful. He has sent His people to bring food, run errands, taker me to the doctor, sit with me during chemo, visit while I am shut in here, call on the phone, do my laundry, change my bed sheets, praying and laughing with me —- I could go on and on. Why do they do all of these loving deeds? Because they love Jesus. Every day when someone visits, I see the love of Christ. They bring Him close to me. His love shines from their eyes. I am so sorry that I haven’t done more of that. I never realized how much just a fifteen minute drop-in visit would be appreciated. I can’t change that now that I am not physically able to do what I’d like to do. Nevertheless, I am learning that I am closest to Jesus, when I am with those who love Him. I did not realize how much a visit or small kindness was appreciated. I have come to the conclusion that to really be close to Jesus is to love other people. So, here I am, finding that the “golden rule,” love others as yourself, is the way to be close to Jesus. Didn’t He tell us that in the beginning?

My mornings with Jesus in quiet and thought have definitely not been wasted. I need that too. I am closer through devoting time to Him. Still, He wants us to be together to serve and fellowship because He IS THERE in the love that is shown as we love each other. He is REALLY THERE! Why else are my beautiful friends using their time to stop their busy lives to visit and care for me? They don’t do it because I have anything to give them. They do it because of His love. Get close to Him by loving someone!

I thank you for the love you have shown me in your positive response to these e-mails. This is my way of visiting you when you are lonely. I can’t bring food or take you on errands, but these words are what I can do to show my love for you. I can pray and I can tell you I love you and I know that will bring you close to Jesus too. My prayer is that we all will get close enough to Jesus to feel like we are, indeed, sharing our day and our “coffee with Jesus”.

I wish you a blessed New Year!

Irma Jane Fritz-Zager

Christmas greetings to all of you. I hope your preparations for Christmas are nearly made and full of wonderful things.

For myself, I haven’t done much. The weather has been such that I have elected to stay home where I am warm and comfortable. I have reached a point in life where no one expects me to entertain, shop, or even to party, so I don’t. I am very happy staying in my warm house and having folks come here. Last night, Jackie came with the three little ones and we made peanut butter cookies with Hershey kisses in their middles. The little girls rolled the dough to death and then happily unwrapped kisses to plop in the center of each hot cookie. Colton just perched on my lap and rode around the house with me on my chair. He got on and he got off two million times and then he would hold up those little arms to me one more time. I am just glad that I can still lift him back up. I got a good upper body workout last night!

This week of Advent the theme is “redemption”. Redemption is kind of an old-fashioned word that is not used too much today except in religious circles. Still, it is a word that we still need. when we do something wrong, I think we all agree that justice demands that we pay for wrongs done. It’s not fair if we can do wrong and “get away with it.” We need to redeem ourselves somehow. When we do wrong, even when we don’t do very wrong, just not quite right, we are guilty. We are not perfect but are a tiny bit rotten. The Bible calls that “sin.” “Sin” is another word that we shy away from using. It seems harsh. Like there could be just a little bit of badness, but we don’t want to call it SIN. Nevertheless, wrong is not right and it needs to be taken care of. It needs to be righted and that is redemption, redeemed from wrong or sin.

So this week the Advent dwells on the need for redemption. How do we get rid of that rottenness and be pure? I think the first thing we have to do is realize our need for being saved or redemption. I am reminded of the movie “Finding Nemo.” “Finding Nemo” is a cute movie about a little fish and a little fish’s life. Nemo is an adolescent little guy eager to try out life on his own. His father is a bit overprotective, always curtailing activities that might be dangerous. He is over worried about Nemo because Nemo has a small handicap. He has one little fin that never developed fully. The father worries constantly. Nemo thinks he is capable of being independent and taking care of himself, so he takes off without thinking and finds himself in big trouble. He is lost and alone in a big, vast ocean full of bigger, scary, hungry, frightening creatures.

Nemo’s father loves him and will do anything to save him. He goes into that big, vast ocean undaunted by the seemingly impossible task of finding one little fish in it and saving that little fish. Of course many frightening things occur, but the father never gives up. The rest of the movie is spent going through many harrowing escapades until Nemo is found. Goofy little Nemo goes through all his adventures not even realizing that he is lost or that he needs to be found, but in the end, he does realize his need to be saved and he longs for the safety of Dad and home.

Like Nemo, we go through the Christmas season, not realizing our need to be saved. We swim around having a great time and don’t realize a need for a savior to come. Our concentration is not on our need for Christ to come, but on getting ready for family time, getting ready for a huge blow-out dinner, getting ready to have a good time at the party. All the while our father is planning how to find us and save us from our sin. He is planning how to find us and give us “redemption.” He is sending a savior – a light to the whole world.

This week is one where I should think about the plan God had to get me out of the ‘par-tay’ swim race. I must think about how God was intent on finding me. He is not willing to lose me. He is not willing to lose even one. His main idea was to search and search until I was found and redeemed. I need to be cleaned up and made pure so I can associate with a Holy God and the only way to do it is to be justified with Christ’s sacrifice for me. Justified – just as if I’d – never done wrong at all. I need that. I need to be redeemed and God chose to do it by sending His only son to conquer sin and redeem me from it. This week I think about redemption and how much I need it. Next week is concentration on the way God chose to do it. Incarnation is the theme for next week and the culmination of Advent.

Searching out the meaning of the tradition of Advent has been rewarding. I have been able to concentrate more on Christmas, Christ’s coming as He did, and what it all means to me. I hope it has done the same for you and that your Christmas time will be richer for it.

I’m a bit behind on this advent thing. There is supposed to be one more week before Christmas and there are only three more days! Doesn’t this always happen? Don’t we always scream, “Only three more days!!”? What creatures of habit we are! I will try to get that last Advent thought on “Incarnation” in before the New Year at least.

I think of all of you often and do so appreciate your responses to my musings in “My Coffee with Jesus.” God bless and have a very Happy Christmas.

Irma Jane Fritz-Zager

http://www.MyCoffeeWithJesus.com

Hello and Good Morning to Everybody,

This is the second week in Advent and my explorations into it continue. Last week it was “waiting” so we continue to wait. This week it is “Mystery”.

Mystery is more than not knowing something. There are overtones to mystery. There is a sense of curiosity and then awe about what we don’t know. We want to know a mystery but approach it with hesitation, fear and wonder. The mystery of God’s coming to earth as a man is wonderful, but also scary.

Why did He come? I put myself in His place as well as I can. Would I go down to live in a colony of ants – become an ant and live like they do? I don’t really like ants. I guess they do have a few redeeming traits. They are industrious, saving, and can lift really heavy burdens. They do have an organized system of livelihood and a social set up that seems to be to their advantage in life; but they don’t have much freedom to do anything but what each one’s place allows. I don’t think they care much about each other. They fight each other. I think they even eat each other. I wouldn’t go down to be an ant for anything. Even if I loved them, which I don’t, I wouldn’t want to be one. God came down to be like us in physical body. Our Holy God became a man for us. He must have loved us more than life. That is the only reason God would do that. He loved us. He loved us enough to be one of us.

Therein lies the mystery. Why does He love us? We are disobedient, ungrateful, mean to each other, and just plain ugly for the most part. We are unlovable creatures like ants, but He loves us anyway. He loves us more than we can imagine. He came to live with us, to put up with all our ugliness, and to save us from dying. He loved us enough to die for us. He loved us that much and He still does. That is the mystery.

Why does He love us? I can’t imagine, but I know He does because He says so in His Word and because He sits with me here every morning and gives me the comfort of His Word and all the promises in it.

Further mystery is the way He came. He came as a helpless child, totally dependent on ordinary people to care for Him and see Him to adulthood. He trusted His Father to see to all that. Knowing how greedy, selfish and obstinate people we are; He still came to be our mentor and Savior. That kind of love is a mystery to all of us.

Why He came– that is not a mystery. He came because He loves us.

Why He loves us, I don’t pretend to know. It will remain a mystery always. I am so grateful that He does.

Irma Jane Fritz-Zager

December 6, 2013

Good Morning Everybody!
It’s Friday morning, already the 6th of December. I don’t know where November went. I did very little, that I know, but the time went by and somehow the end of the year will be here and it will be 2014. The older you get the faster time flies by, doesn’t it?

I’m thinking this am about the coming of Christmas. It will be here so soon and I think, as we all do, about all there is to do to prepare. We decorate, we shop, we send out greetings, we buy specially good foods to serve, we prepare to entertain, we entertain, and so much more; just to get ready for Christmas.

I am thinking that this year I will be different. I will concentrate on the reason for the season and really prepare for a celebration of the coming of Jesus to this world. I will think about the fantastic idea of God, Himself, coming to be a man. He came to live among us and to be like us. He came to teach us how to live as His Father would have us live. He came to die for our sins; to pay for our sin so we might be good enough to be with our Holy Father and live with him forever. He came as a tiny baby, trusting His Father to keep Him from the ugliness that the world is. I want to really celebrate the beginning of all that. I am going to try to make this Christmas one where Christ’s birth is celebrated more that Santa Claus and all his trappings.

I love all the traditions of Santa, snowmen, sleigh bells ringing, and all the rest. Gift giving is a joyful tradition. I love to think of buying and giving something that will please the people I love. These are good things. But—, it is not all of Christmas.
I have a good friend who brought me a gift already. It was a book about Advent. As a Protestant all my life, I know very little about Advent. We went to a Lutheran church for several years and I think they celebrate Advent, but in that church, not so much. Stan’s church did an Advent thing, Since it was not a apart of our family tradition, we did not get a wreath or the four candles. I didn’t look into what it all meant. I continued to do as I always had done.

This little book made me think about Christmas, its meaning, and how I should be thinking a little differently than I had in the past. Maybe I should look into this Advent thing. Not necessarily as a ritual to be followed but as a preparation to get ready to really celebrate Christmas as the coming of Christ to this world.

I had to look up “Advent” just to see what it was all about. How it came to be and how it was traditionally celebrated. Advent begins four Sundays before Christmas and can vary in length. This year it is shorter since the first Sunday is the first of December and there are four Sundays before the 25th. There are themes to each week: waiting, mystery, redemption and incarnation. So far I have only considered the waiting part. I hope to explore the other themes with you as I go through His birth and them. After the birth of Christ, there are twelve days of Christmas which stretch through to January 5th and a time called Epiphany. I haven’t even begun to look into that. I know what the word means, but need to know so much more about its traditions and what it may mean to me as a Christian.

So the first week is one of waiting. We know He has come. We celebrate His birth and His first coming. What should I be waiting for?
We are waiting for the second Advent; His second coming when we anticipate “all things being new”, when there will be “no more sorrow, no more tears.” We don’t know how much time there is left. This is a period of waiting and of using this time to remember what He did for us on the cross and to joyfully celebrate His first coming — Christmas. This “waiting week”, what shall I do? What does a person do while waiting? I think we watch to see what will happen; but even more, we listen. When I wait, I listen for the first sound of something that portends the approach of what I am anticipating. I won’t pretend that God talks to me. At least He doesn’t talk to me directly like He did to the prophets. Nevertheless, that “still, small voice” comes through the Holy Spirit when one prays. I will listen for it. I will wait for the Word to come and for the light to appear. This will be a special time – this waiting. I will get ready to celebrate His coming and His birth.

So this Christmas season, I will daily look for Christ’s coming and into waiting for Him

Irma Jane Fritz-Zager

November 16, 2013

Hi to All of You,
I’m back in my sunroom with Jim and Kathy. They spoiled me in all kinds of ways and now I am having to get used to being alone again and doing for myself. It’s ok though, I have my chair as a front row seat watching the squirrels and other wild life. I am attaching a picture I took yesterday of a fine fellow who came to visit my back yard. He is part of the beauty of fall.

In my backyard.

My back yard is solid gold. The leaves need to be raked but the six inches of sunny yellow are so cheery I can’t worry about raking. God has made unbelievable beauty in every season so my time with Jesus is praising Him for that. I praise Him too for the faithful help I continue to get from His people, the body of Christ. His love brings my daughter-in-law all the way from Arizona, driving to W. VA., and then driving me home. It brings folks to take me to church, to the grocery, the rec center, or to help with my yard, my housecleaning, or my laundry. If it weren’t for them, I couldn’t stay here in the home I love. These faithful people are evidence of Christ’s love in His body.

I sit here and my fertile imagination gets to work again. I imagine the body of Jesus Christ. I wish I could draw on the computer what I see in my mind. Since I don’t know how, I have to try to draw a picture with words.

On a blank sky is a huge figure of a person- kind of like a gingerbread man. My picture shows this body made up of millions of people; moving busily so that the entire body is in constant motion. The edges of the body are rough and wiggling too. There are arms and legs waving about, even whole torsos, struggling to get in or out. Some of these are people who are so down and discouraged that they are trying to escape. Holding tight to their feet and legs are the faithful who cling and hold them tight because God is not willing to lose even one. Also on these rough edges are legs and feet waving about as they are diving into the body headfirst. These are the many who come to Christ every day and can’t wait to get in there and be a working cell. Right alongside of those waving legs and feet are whole bodies tentatively dipping one foot into the whole, wavering a bit, but slowly approaching a hole that is wide open for their entry.

Inside is all the wonderful family of Christ. I picture Billy Graham. He must be high up in the head or maybe he is in the very heart. Wherever he is, he is working hard and joyously. Alongside him is one of my favorites, Joe Stowell. Mother Teresa is up there too. They are those people who have spent their lives serving God in a great way. Up and down the spine are the many pastors, elders, and other leaders who shepherd the flock and keep the body upright.

In the hands are 20% of all the cells. They are the men and women who are the care givers. They visit the elderly and the sick. They cook the meals, clean up, and serve. They run errands and drive people to the doctor. They serve the needy, clothe them, and give them shelter. They could be the backbone, but I think they are the hands because they are always working and doing.  In the feet are the missionaries, taking the steps that are unknown. They are courageous, afraid, but always going forward, keeping the body in motion.

I picture the teachers. They are at the very heart. They keep the body fed and healthy and full. Every part is necessary, wherever it is. No matter what part you are in, you are IMPORTANT. No part is less important than another even if it is part of the clean-up committee. I see myself as probably in the pancreas. I do something necessary but I am not sure what it is. I am probably in the process of moving to the appendix- expendable one of these days, but still there and somehow useful. I like to hope that maybe I am a small cell in the vocal cords. Do you suppose I could be there?

Around my whole body vision is a clear firm wrapping of saran wrap holding it all together. This wrapping is semi-permeable. It lets people in easily but no one is allowed out. This is the Holy Spirit holding us firmly in place in the body of Jesus. The Holy Spirit is wrapping us all in a cocoon of love and joy.

This is my crazy vision of the body of Christ. Where are you in there? If you are not in there, entry is easy and the door is open. Just admit that you are imperfect, and therefore not worthy to be in the presence of a perfect God. You are someone who has done wrong things in the past and continues to do so every day. You need Jesus’ sacrifice on the cross to take away your sins. Admit that you need Him every day because you can’t be good enough to do it on your own. Ask Christ to be in your life and in your heart so you can be a part of this wonderful body. Be filled with His spirit. It is fun in there. Believe me, you will find a life with purpose and full of endless love, joy and peace.

I love you all. Happy Thanksgiving
Irma Jane Fritz-Zager

Saturday, November 2, 2013

Hi Everyone,
Today it is special. Today it is Coffee with Jesus and Jim (and Kathy, too). I am down in West Virginia for a couple of weeks with Jim and Kathy. Today is special because they are both home this am while I am having my coffee with Jesus. Kathy, while I have asked her not to wait on me, does it anyway. She has brought my coffee and raisin bread toast in to me where I am sitting with Jim. She takes such wonderful care of me. I thank Jesus for her again today as I do every day. Today is Saturday and Jim has a day to stay in bed in the morning. Every other day they both get up and go off early to the school where Jim does his administrating and Kathy does her teaching. Sunday, of course, is up early and go to church to worship and do more teaching. I go to church with them but other days I stay home with the dogs until they get back. On those days, it is Jesus who is with me, as I ask Him to be even down here in West Virginia.

This morning it was even more special because as I read my Bible, I now can read it aloud and have Jim to tell me more about the culture and historical times of the Scripture that I am reading. I am reading in Isaiah and it can be tough going. I can’t be sure about the era of history to which Isaiah is referring or whether he is telling me what is happening in the world now. It is probably both. Also, it is hard to sort out in just casual reading. In a regular Bible study, I would have resources to go to, but this is my regular Scripture reading every a.m. that I like to do as a morning routine with Jesus. Maybe that is the wrong way to go about Scripture reading; but the Word says that all Scripture is profitable for edification and I really enjoy going through the Bible that way, so I continue. This morning though, I have my interpreter in Jim so I am just loving having “coffee with Jesus and Jim.” I praise the Lord every day for my Kathy and Jim.

Sunday, November 3, 2013

Today I went to church with Jim and Kathy. Their church was celebrating “Orphan’s Day.” Many of the people in their church have adopted children who have very little hope of a family to call their own. It was a very touching service as several of those families gave testimony of the blessing they have received from the little ones who have come into their homes. They spoke of their blessings from the kids; not the blessings given to the kids. I was very impressed at the sincerity and truth with which they spoke. No one talked about the hardships involved in taking on more responsibilities, no one complained about the stretching of the budget, no one said they felt their adopted children took time away from their biological children. They didn’t deny that this was true, only that the joy far outdistanced the hardships. They talked about the difficulties the adopted children had with language, discipline and psychological problems, but these challenges were turned into joy when the children reacted to the love they had never known in a family. None of these concerns seemed to compare with the joy those children brought into their lives.

Some of these people purposely chose the hard to place children who would never be adopted by others. One family deliberately asked for older children because so many of the adopters stipulated only babies or children under two or three. One family who already had a severely handicapped child, took two more brothers into their home to be part of the family. The love of Jesus and His way shone through in the lives of the people in that church and I am so glad to be able to go there and that Jim and Kathy are a part of it.

Today I will dwell on the blessings and joy that come with encouraging others and helping them in any way possible. Getting new things and possessions is fun but short lived. Real joy is in living and doing what Jesus asks us to do: love others as we would be loved. That joy lasts and never wears out.

Today I will pray to follow Jesus and be a better person.

God bless and keep all of you and I send my love to all.

Irma Jane Fritz-Zager

http://www.MyCoffeeWithJesus.com

October 24, 2013

Greetings and love to all on this sunny, crisp fall day.

This morning as I have my coffee, pray, and try to be close to my Creator, my mind settles on my hands. I am rather repulsed as I look at the gnarly, wrinkled old things. They never have been slender, smooth and polished even when I was younger. I’d try and then a project would come along that required plunging them into paint, eaves troughs, diaper pails, you name it. I’ve never been able to do things wearing gloves so even when my hands were young and supple; they weren’t pretty. No one would want to photograph them showing off a beautiful ring–that’s for sure. Possibly they might do to advertise potting soil or paint remover.

Now, they are even worse. The years have made the fingers crooked. Teen years left a permanently jammed pinkie from a baseball. Young mother years left them rough from wringing out diapers, and learning to cook, years of crafts left paper cuts, exacto knife slices, glue gun burns and so many other disfigurements. I don’t regret doing any of these things,. They gave me much pleasure. I just don’t like the general knobbiness and bony big knuckles that they left behind after 84 years of hard use and general abuse.

My Creator made these handy, indispensable items at the end of my arms with absolutely amazing abilities. They do all sorts of things. They have fantastic mechanisms to tackle big jobs and tiny ones. Their design is one only devised by an indescribable God who did and does magnificent things. Unfortunately some things they do are not so good, but I try to dwell on the wiping of tears from faces, caressing a babies cheek, and serving others to the best of my ability. They’ve done things I’m ashamed of, and things I am rather proud of; but in all they have been my most useful appendages.

I look at little Colton’s unused and tiny hands. They are the most beautiful things: so perfectly formed to pick up a cheerio and pop it right into his mouth or to reach up toward Great Gram for a hug. Already they have the inclination to pat old Gram’s cheek. No sight is more lovely than those amazingly beautiful little hands which at birth even had the time lines, and knuckle wrinkles for future use.
Then I remember my mother’s hands. The term “work-worn” doesn’t do them justice. They were gnarled and twisted with fingers permanently curled into grotesque shapes. Her right hand had one finger missing all the way down to the tendon of the wrist, leaving a deep valley of wrinkles all the way. I guess you could say they were claw like. They were beautiful to me. They represented countless hours of gentle touches: soothing hurt feelings and genuine pain. They wrote words of loving and caring when I was far away. They rolled out dozens and dozens of ginger cookies for dozens and dozens of children and adults. They pummeled bread dough for thousands, they hoed and toiled on the farm to feed her family and then they toiled some more to teach so many classrooms full of young minds that needed her touch. I can’t write all they did but they were lovely hands that did it. I wish I could see them again. God made those hands for loving and they faithfully performed their duty for Him. I pray that little Colton’s hands will grow to be serving the Lord some day.

I look at my own misshaped hands and hope they also have been instruments of loving care. I pray they still can be useful to type encouraging words to you. I hope someday my hands can be almost as beautiful as my mother’s. Today I try to serve God with these hands by typing my praise out and sending it on to you.

God bless you all, Irma Jane

Good Morning, Everyone!

Our fall so far has been so lovely and I know the best is yet to come because the world around me is still green. I love these days of cool nights and temperate days. Long sleeve weather I call it; not cold, but perfect days for being outdoors and breathing fresh air. Speaking of air; my lungs don’t get better but the rest of me does! I am walking on that broken old leg. It is something of a miracle that my old bones have enough pizzaz in them to grow new bone, marrow and whatnot. I have surprised the orthopedic surgeon and two days ago, when I last saw her, she looked at the xrays, compared the first to the last,,and said she didn’t need to see me anymore. Imagine that! God is good! Now I need to get those lazy old muscles back into shape.

Today, while having coffee with Jesus, I read the 119th Psalm. That Psalm has quite a history with me. I usually read two or three Psalms after my scripture reading, just for praise. Therefore, I come upon it quite often. Also, I’ve read through the Bible quite a few times. That Psalm has always been a sort of bug-a-boo to get through. I dutifully read through and sigh. It is soooo long! I think it is the longest chapter in the Bible. On and on it seemed to go about law and rules and rules and law, Who likes rules and law? They are strict, confining, often harsh and definitely black or white. Do or don’t do this or that.

Just as an example of how wonderful the Word really is- today the 119th Psalm opened my eyes and really lived. Truly, it was a lesson of how the Bible adds more and more to my understanding every time I read it. I can scarcely believe how wonderful it is to read a passage after fifteen times and find even more to learn from it. We are all different. Some of you may have loved this Psalm from the beginning and some of us take longer for stuff to sink in. But this one stands out for me.

Like the Psalmist says: “I love your word.” “I love your law” “I love your rules”. It is true. We are blessed if we walk in His Way. Our lives are so much better if we follow His rules. If we do, we can get through rough times and thrive. We can cope with daily struggles. We don’t have to vie for attention or try to rival others successes. We can look at others blessings with gladness, not jealousy. We can forgive slights and hurts and forget and go on. We get more wisdom and have more understanding, even know more truth. We live in peace. We have faith in His provision and in His protection. We actually have joy, not animosity. I love His rules! I love that He has given us, His rules to live by. Like the Psalmist, I love His law!

Then I read on. I haven’t gotten the good out of Psalm 120 yet. Maybe the next time around or several times away. I know it is there because all scripture is profitable for learning. He said so. But I do go on to Psalm 121. That one is so precious. The promise is there. He loves me. He will keep me from all evil “from this time forth and forevermore.”

Psalm 119 is no longer tedious reading of law and rules, but now is an understanding of how I am to live His Way and how I will have that fantastic promise with me day and night. Just read it and see. “Blessed am I when I walk in the way of the Lord” (Psalm:119:1). Isn’t the Bible a wonderful book? Isn’t His Word beyond description? Isn’t Jesus fantastic!

Thanks for being here with us today, Jesus!

Thank you for reading, for your prayers and for your love. I love you all. Irma Jane Fritz-Zager

September 30, 2013

Thank you for all your prayers. I am so grateful when you think of me and pray for me. Jesus said I had to stay here a little longer at the Avenue, that He had something more for me to do here. I trust Him but am disappointed. I really did want to go home. The Dr. said “Two, possibly less, weeks.” I was thinking days so I said, “Bummer!!”, but I will try to stay focused on carrying my light for Him. He has been so good to provide me with a Christian therapist in both of the facilities I have been in. That is a real plus. Also I have made some really nice friends here. Many of them come here from out of town, so I may not see them again, but have really enjoyed being with them at meals and in therapy. I can highly recommend this place for therapy and recovery of all sorts. The most important thing in recovery, I think, is being upbeat and positive. The therapy room is a happy place with much joking and laughter. I loved being in there and usually stayed all morning. The nurses and the aides are also mostly jolly and pleasant. No wonder God wants us to work with a happy heart as if doing it for Him. It is definitely the very best way to conduct your life.

I wrote the above 10 days ago and somehow never got to finish. I worked hard and in one week, not two, I was told I could go home. I have been home since Friday. It was a trial under fire because both Melody, my downstairs live-in, and Jackie, my daughter, were to be out of town for the entire weekend. I was to be truly “home alone”. I was too grateful and also too stubborn to stay at the Avenue even one more day, so home I went. Thankfully, the Lord saw to it that I kept my head and didn’t do one thing without carefully looking to see that I had proper support before I tried to move at all.. Friday many friends stopped in and my home help came in the am and evening for an hour or two. Saturday was the same and on Sunday I even went to church. This morning was the climax of joy. I got up, got my coffee and had two hours with Jesus –no interruptions just perfect time praying and reading my Bible. THIS is what I have truly missed, My Coffee with Jesus.

Coffee jump starts my day. It gets me going every morning. It works on my metabolism and gets my physical body going for the day. I seem to need the caffeine, but I also love the great taste and the aroma. The enjoyment of a warm coffee mug in my hands gives me comfort and a feeling of well-being, the great taste makes my belly happy and the wonderful smell makes it all seem like perfection to my morning. This great treat for me has been missing every single morning for the last 8 weeks. I really missed it.

Having time with Jesus is my spiritual jump start. His presence as I pray assures me that everything will be ok today. The worries of last night about troubles in my family, or my country, or even in my culture; get put into perspective- actually put away on the shelf as I am assured once more that His promises are true and His presence is real. “All things work for the good for those who love Him” (Rom. 8:28) Jesus has my back.

That time in the morning has been missing and so a big lift in my life has also been missing. I need more than just a time in the morning to pray though. I need the continuous infusion of His strength and wisdom. I don’t need coffee all day to keep going, but I do need Jesus. He gives me hope, courage, patience and peace. He has my back but He also is my forerunner leading the way. I am so grateful to be home and back to having coffee with my Lord again

I remember sitting in the cottage looking out across the water. I can imagine Him crossing the water on that sparkling path the sun makes each morning. I never see His back, going away. How about that? I am blessed and grateful for “My Coffee with Jesus!”

September 17, 2013

I’m sorry it has taken me so long to write I have no excuse, especially since my days are long here in the rehab place and I find the hours so hard to fill. I have to confess to just letting age take over and to taking lots of naps. I wrote this the other day as I was getting a maintenance dose of chemo just to keep that old cancer spook away.

I am having my coffee with Jesus this am as I sit here in the Medina Hospital. It is really good coffee too because Jackie took the time to stop at Starbucks on the way over to get me. I’ve asked Jesus to be with me and I really feel His presence beside me as the healing poison drips in. I will have to have these treatments for at least one more year, but only once every three months and it is a light dose that only makes me tired, not nauseous or sick in any way. I marvel at the medical care I get..

I sit in a very comfortable lounge chair – feet up, pillows everywhere. They bring warm blankets to tuck around me and fuzzy socks to warm my feet. They even put them on for me. At my elbow is my coffee, peanut butter and cheese snacks, water and a dose of Tylenol just in case. In front of me is my very own TV set and beside me is a floor to ceiling window that looks out from the sixth floor over a lovely wooded area and blue, blue sky. I have a button to push for whatever I might need. I feel like a reigning queen. If it weren’t such a scary life threatening disease, it might make someone want it just for the pampering.

I am so fortunate though. Back at the rehab “Avenue” every precaution is taken to see that I don’t fall, catch any germs, am well fed, cleaned up body and bed, breathe well, and have the right exercise to make me well. They even have an entertainment director to help us keep from getting bored. It would seem like an ideal existence. Someone is here to help me get a Jacuzzi bath, scrub my head and back. and even rub lotion on my feet. They come in the wee hours of the night with a pain pill if I need it. Yet, I long to go home. I should revel in this existence, yet I chafe to get out. What a perverse creature I am. No matter what the gates are made of, if we are shut within them then it is a jail. I can’t wait to be free of this environment.

So, if creature comforts, being waited on hand and foot, and executive treatment aren’t enough to make me happy, then what is? What makes me happy and content? What do I long for most?
I watch the other inmates here. I call them inmates because they probably feel as imprisoned here as I do even though we are treated so well and are in really beautiful surroundings. They all long to leave and go home. Why? Home isn’t opulent usually. There are no servants waiting on ones’ every need or seeing to your health, well-being , or safety. Yet home is where all of us long to be.
Home is where we have to do for ourselves, make our own meals, clean up after ourselves and make our own comforts. Why do we want to be there? Because it’s where love is. Love is around us at home. Family is there, pets are there, our beloved is there. HOME–where love abides.

One little lady here reminds me every day of my own great fortune. She is a tiny woman, 90 years old with more years than she has pounds. She has the whitest hair of all and the sharpest mind. I wish I could give her what she longs for most – a family. She had no children, no grandchildren, hence no great grands either. She has one niece and one nephew and neither one is young anymore, both in their seventies and finding it hard to care for their aunt anymore. This little woman needs so much. I’ll bet she’d take most anything for the little arms that reach up for a hug, or for the big strong ones that reach down to give one. Those arms are more precious than any possession.

How I wish that kind of love for the little lady who is well cared for but who will never go home.
I wonder if she has Jesus’ arms to wrap around herself and give her warmth. The song says His arms are everlasting and I believe it. I pray for the everlasting arms of Jesus to keep you all warm in heart.

Love, Irma Jane

September 3, 2013

Hi to everyone,

Today I woke up early- 6 a.m.- and couldn’t go back to sleep. So, I situated myself in the lounge chair that Mark brought me from home. I asked the nurse for some hot water, dumped in my Starbucks VIA (pretty good stuff, really) and settled down with my “Daily Bread,” my Bible, my coffee and Jesus.

Today was the first time in six weeks that I felt I was really back to having coffee with Jesus. I haven’t had an opportunity to be undisturbed and communicate with Him. I felt alone and searching all the time. If I felt alone, guess who left? I think my time with Him was getting kind of “ho-hum” and God said, “You need to appreciate me more.” I am so very ashamed that it has taken a broken leg and all the pain resulting to make me appreciate my Lord. I don’t really believe that Jesus would put me through all this just so He would receive my appreciation. No way! However, I am convinced the He has used all these occurrences to work for good in my life and in others.

When I think of all the things I have learned and of all the repercussions of a broken leg on the people I have chanced to meet or even the people they have encountered, I have to be amazed at God’s marvelous hand. I’ve been so encouraged by other Christians I’ve met, or by all of you with your e-mails, cards, phone calls, or in-house calls. All these things have worked together to cement and strengthen my faith. The Lord is good. (That is the way one of my friends always ends her texts).

I am truthful when I say I am grateful for this experience. Really, I wouldn’t have missed this time in both the rehab places. Most of it is hard, some is hateful, some is extremely humiliating, but all is good for me. If this hadn’t happened, what would I have done all summer? I would, indeed, have loved to watch my great grandchildren play in the water and the sand. I would have loved being with my family all together. I would have loved to be there for my sister’s family to help them grieve her passing, I might have taken a ride on my ski-doo or gone for a float. Joys for me ,but not really beneficial for anyone else. I think God decided that since I was foolish enough to step in a deep hole, He would use my clumsiness to further my education. He wasn’t through with my usefulness yet, I had more to learn.

My experiences in two rehab facilities are priceless. I’ve had lessons to learn and people to meet. The biggest lesson of all is like St Paul’s. I think I have learned to be content in all situations (Phil. 4:1).

I can’t claim to be there yet. I complained just yesterday about being awakened at 4 in the am to take what the nurse said was a “belly pill”. Not a very satisfactory explanation and I think I am justified in demanding a better one. But still, I did manage to do it in a soft and gentle way. I am just grateful that God thinks I am worthy of working on just a little while longer. He still has something worthwhile for me to do.

I’ve learned so much about being patient, waiting for someone else to do for me. I’ve learned about time. Many things don’t have to be done RIGHT NOW! I’ve met some fantastic lovely people, both Christian and non, who are compassionate and caring individuals. They are hoping to serve good, if not God. I’ve met the owley ones and wondered what made them so crabby. I’ve tried to be cheery and nice and even sympathetic and been rebuffed severely. I’ve seen the truly unfortunate souls who just sit their lives away and then those who choose to be miserable and pass it on to all they meet.

I used to think joy was a choice. Now I’m not so sure. I’ve learned not to be so sure about anything. God knows everything but I know almost nothing. I’ve learned that too. To conclude, I have chosen to find joy in all things as much as I can. Jesus has enabled me to do that. I can greet each day with a glad heart and I can look at this whole episode as a wonderful learning experience. I’ll decide to do that.

I hope all of you are well and that you will have a fall season full of God’s blessings.

Love from Me, Irma Jane Fritz-Zager

August 25, 2013

It’s been a very sad week. My last surviving sibling, my sister Ila Wright, went home to be with the Lord unexpectedly. Oh, how I wish I could be at the memorial services to support the family and say farewell to my beloved sister, but that is not possible. So instead, I wrote the following to honor her life of faithfulness and godliness through many difficult trials.

August 24, 2013

Dear Jill,
I am devastated that I can’t come up there for Ila’s memorial service. I know it is impossible for me to do, but feel badly all the same. I am writing my own tribute to her memory and am sending it to you. I don’t know what kind of service you have planned but sometimes in a more casual memorial service, they ask people to stand and share a word or two. I am sending you mine. I would like to have it read if that is possible. It would please me very much and help me to feel that I was there honoring her as I deeply want to do. My heart is full of tears as I write this because I will miss her so. How I will miss answering the phone and hearing, ,”Hi, It’s Ila.”

How can I put a whole lifetime of memories into a few meaningful sentences? It is impossible but I will try because I want to be there to honor Ila and since I can’t, I must do my best to let you know how much I wish I was with you to say “goodbye” to one of the dearest people I know.
MY heart is crying because of my loss. Ila, I know, Is no longer sad nor does she have tears for anyone. I truly believe she is happily greeting Andy; she is hugging once again her darling child, Jackie, and she is also with my dear mom who we all still miss. There are many other dear loved ones who have graduated to a better life ad they are all there with her giving her love.

I am one of the very few left who has known Ila from childhood on. Over 84 years she has had more than her share of tragedies. She probably considered me to be one of the first. Into her four year old life came this upstart baby to take her place as the baby of the family. Ila never complained about life’s trials but she often complained about the blonde curly haired baby that took her sister Rhea’s attention away. I can still hear her say, “Rhea played with Irma Jane’s hair but wouldn’t touch my stick straight dutch boy bob.

I went on to be annoying all through the teen years. I was there when she didn’t want me to interfere with her friends. I snuck out of house work by hiding in the apple tree. Mom made her read and entertain me when I was bedridden for a year. I wore her clothes and didn’t put them away. I was a horrible nuisance.

She did so many nice things for me as a teen. I was in a car accident and felt disfigured. Ila went to Lansing and bought me a prom dress that was the envy of every girl at Ludington High. Dresses in Ludington then were all alike but Ila found one in Lansing so different and stylish that I felt whole again. It was so special that dress.

Over the years, we’ve all had hard things to overcome. Overcoming the death of a child, raising a handicapped child, caring for an aging mother-in-law, caring for her own mother as she aged, living through the tragedy of her husband’s death by horrible accident; those were the biggest ones. Yet she met each trial with strength and courage.

The Bible tells us to find joy in all things especially in everyday life. Ila did that. She found such joy in the simple things of gardening, preserving, canning, baking the most fabulous bread in the world, caring for the neighbors; all these things she counted as joy. I will miss her so much. We never got to spend enough time together.

Ila was not adventuresome. She was actually a big coward. She pushed me ahead of her up the dark stairway so I would meet the bogeyman first. I had to do everything first to see if it was safe. I got back at her though, when we got older. I pushed her to climb down into the Grand Canyon and then back out. I pushed her on a long hike in Jasper National Park to an alpine meadow. That one scared me and I believed maybe she was right to be scared of some things. In Jasper, We crossed a wide stretch of snow to get to the top of the mountain. Ila was happily exclaiming over the tiny alpine flowers when I heard a thunderous roar. Across the valley I saw a huge cloud of snow erupt into the valley floor. Knowing we had to cross that snow field to get back down, I was scared witless. Ila followed me across that field high-stepping in my tracks as I went as carefully as I could back to solid ground.. I never told her about the avalanche. I was afraid she’d never go with me again. She did though and we traveled to so many places together. She went to China, Italy , Brazil and all over Europe. She loved to travel and loved to get back home.

Later, when traveling days were over we just had fun being together. Now she is the big sister again. Going ahead of me to test the waters of the unknown. This time she didn’t push me ahead of her. She went first. Hers is a graduation celebration. We celebrate her graduation to Glory with Jesus. She now has earned a life with Jesus, free of all sorrow and tears; only the joy of eternal love.

Ila has left behind a legacy of love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, gentleness and faithfulness No one exemplifies the fruits of the Spirit more than she did. She was a good friend, a good neighbor, a good mother, grandma and great grandma. Whatever role she played she did it well.

I will miss her so much. I am crying in my heart today because I should be there with you all to honor Ila’s life. I am with you in spirit though as we together feel blessed beyond measure to have had Ila in our lives.

August 19, 2013

Hi to all of You,

It is way past time to catch you up on my doings. Since I wrote last, I have come back to Ohio to a rehab facility here in Medina. It is brand new and just lovely. I feel like I am in a luxury hotel. Of course, the nurses don’t treat you any differently. You still get interrupted all the time with pill taking and vital signs taking. The worst was a pill at 2:30 a.m. for indigestion. I haven’t ever had indigestion. I was sleeping very soundly for once. I asked an experienced nurse why one might do that and she replied that maybe the nurse was trying to keep awake herself and needed something to do.

The trip back was uneventful. I worried for nothing which is a usual thing to worry about. I was not too uncomfortable and my arrival here was expected and I was treated as a special guest. This place is so beautiful. It has just opened and so the rooms are only 1/3 full. Therefore, I get a lot of attention, as does everyone else who is looking for healing here.

My Weymouth family has been very faithful to visit and so has my own family. I get to see Jackie more here than I did at home and Jess too. She has been here with the little ones several times already. Little Coley likes the open area with the gazebo best because he like to play in all the mulch. Eat it too. Jim and Kathy came to see me too. Also Lindsay and Ivan came from Huntington. Their visit was the best medicine I could have. I haven’t seen them since Mother’s Day. Jim’s van was utilized to get me to my home and I was able to sit in my very own chair for a little nap. Looking at my home and my yard just seemed so satisfying.

God has been so faithful in getting me to the right place. I know there is a purpose in everything. Who’s prayer is He answering now? Possibly it is even the person who built this place and prayed to have it be a blessing for him and for others. His plans are so intricate and go far beyond my best imaginings that I shouldn’t try to figure it all out. I have to learn to TRUST! I am trying to go along with Him and do the best I can to be a light wherever I am. Thank all of you for being an encouragement to me. You lend me the feeling that I do have a purpose. God bless and keep you until I write again. Please pray that I can find time to be alone with Jesus. I miss my alone time with Him. My time to feel His presence and talk to Him is often interrupted.

Thank you for your prayers and know that you are prayed for too.