March 16, 2014

Back to the ice and cold and so happy to be here.

It’s been six weeks since you’ve heard from me and I apologize.   I haven’t really been away so much, but it seems like it.  I went to West Virginia for two weeks visiting Jim and Kathy.  We had a great time doing nothing, eating, watching the Olympics and having daily fixes of Downton Abbey.  I got them addicted –we started with season one and got through three!  We are all three aficionados of British life in the 20’s now and the class system, of course.  Jim and Kathy are always so good to me—I feel like the queen or at least, Lady somebody.

I came home for a week and a good friend and neighbor in Canada passed away suddenly.  We were all so saddened and shocked.  John and Karen came from Arizona for the funeral.  Karen took me up to Michigan so I could go.  It was so sad to lose an old friend, especially one younger than me by far.  My heart was gladdened to see so many of my friends and neighbors from the island paying tribute to his life.  We do love one another up there.  I spent one night with JD and Tina so got to hug them, Aynslie and Jensen a little bit.  Karen drove me home to Medina and since I had a big Doctor’s appointment in a day or two, she said she would stay, take me there and then pack me up for two weeks in sunny Arizona.  The weather here has not been kind lately so this plan seemed ideal to me!

The doctor visit was one I had looked forward to and yet dreaded.  I had done quite a few pulmonary tests to see if my lung function had stayed the same or deteriorated in a year’s time.  In my head, I knew it was poorer.  One can’t deny one’s inability to breathe for too long.  In my heart, I hoped I could still do part of what I had once done.  I bravely asked her the questions I wanted answered, really thinking I was ready to hear the answers.  Truly, I AM ready to meet my Lord!  This I know because I know without any doubt where I am going. (1 John 5:13)  Some days I am even a bit anxious to go there.  Nevertheless, it was hard to hear the words “hospice care so you can stay at home,” “morphine can deaden anxiousness when needing to breathe and not getting oxygen,” and “one year, maybe more”.  I had already taken care of the living will and the DNR stuff.

I went home depressed, a bit and shaken.  It was a long night but taking all this to the Lord He just said I had to trust.  My decision?  I am already getting help at home so I can stay there.  Call it anything you like!  Hospice is just a word.  Morphine is just something I will put in the back of my mind and store it there until it needs to come out.  This “one year” stuff is not to be considered.  Who has any more than the day they are living right now?  Odds are that the young have more time, but no one knows what tomorrow holds.  I’m going along with the “maybe more” words.

I went to Arizona as planned and had 10 beautiful sunny days with my son and daughter-in-law.  We shopped a little, took a ride to their lovely park and rode around seeing flowers, cacti, ducks, turtles, and so very much more.  It is a pleasure to go outside without thinking of jackets, boots etc.  We sat outside and ate, sat inside and ate, and just enjoyed the time without even once accomplishing a thing.  My dear kids gave me their bed downstairs, their dogs to cuddle by my feet, and lots of love.  What could be better?

On the way home the angels appeared.  I know God ministers with angels.  It really happened!  I was sitting in my seat next to the window.  It is hard to realize how very tight they have made the seats in the newer planes.  I sat for 2 hours and became increasingly stiff and uncomfortable.  It developed into an agonizing cramp in my groin.  I couldn’t stretch out to alleviate it and when I got out of my seat and into the aisle, I couldn’t put any weight on my leg.  It simply collapsed.  It was the leg with the hip replacement and the one recently broken so badly.  I was in extreme pain and couldn’t hide it.  That was when the angels appeared.  I know God had them on the plane just for me.   A nurse appeared to take my blood pressure, check my legs for signs of blood clots, and what not.  A doctor was there.  His wife took me to her seat in first class where I could finally get the weight off my leg and stretch it out to relieve the cramp.  These lovely people kept me up there in their first class seats the entire rest of the trip and would not hear of my going back.  The doctor kept taking my pressure and his wife just rubbed my neck and back and hovered with such kindness that I was overwhelmed.  Many of the other passengers came to ask about my welfare and asked if they could help.  The whole plane load of people seemed concerned.  I haven’t seen such love for others in a long time.  They stayed with me getting off the plane and down to baggage claim.  Even then,  many came up to ask if I was alright.  It restored my faith in human love and in my Lord’s faithfulness in seeing that I was cared for.  It was like a movie-really.  I am so grateful and want to give all the glory to Him.  Caring about me—I don’t know why, but I was in pain and He provided everything I needed and more.

God is so good and Jesus so faithful in staying by me for coffee and everything else, whether I am in West Virginia, Arizona, or up in the sky on a United flight across country.  My heart is just bursting with gratitude to God for allowing me to be His child and for taking such good care of me.  Aren’t you glad He loves us all?

I love you, too, and continue to pray for you while having my coffee with Jesus.

I would welcome any personal requests you may have for prayer needs.  That I can still do and love talking with Jesus

Irma Jane Fritz-Zager