August 25, 2013

It’s been a very sad week. My last surviving sibling, my sister Ila Wright, went home to be with the Lord unexpectedly. Oh, how I wish I could be at the memorial services to support the family and say farewell to my beloved sister, but that is not possible. So instead, I wrote the following to honor her life of faithfulness and godliness through many difficult trials.

August 24, 2013

Dear Jill,
I am devastated that I can’t come up there for Ila’s memorial service. I know it is impossible for me to do, but feel badly all the same. I am writing my own tribute to her memory and am sending it to you. I don’t know what kind of service you have planned but sometimes in a more casual memorial service, they ask people to stand and share a word or two. I am sending you mine. I would like to have it read if that is possible. It would please me very much and help me to feel that I was there honoring her as I deeply want to do. My heart is full of tears as I write this because I will miss her so. How I will miss answering the phone and hearing, ,”Hi, It’s Ila.”

How can I put a whole lifetime of memories into a few meaningful sentences? It is impossible but I will try because I want to be there to honor Ila and since I can’t, I must do my best to let you know how much I wish I was with you to say “goodbye” to one of the dearest people I know.
MY heart is crying because of my loss. Ila, I know, Is no longer sad nor does she have tears for anyone. I truly believe she is happily greeting Andy; she is hugging once again her darling child, Jackie, and she is also with my dear mom who we all still miss. There are many other dear loved ones who have graduated to a better life ad they are all there with her giving her love.

I am one of the very few left who has known Ila from childhood on. Over 84 years she has had more than her share of tragedies. She probably considered me to be one of the first. Into her four year old life came this upstart baby to take her place as the baby of the family. Ila never complained about life’s trials but she often complained about the blonde curly haired baby that took her sister Rhea’s attention away. I can still hear her say, “Rhea played with Irma Jane’s hair but wouldn’t touch my stick straight dutch boy bob.

I went on to be annoying all through the teen years. I was there when she didn’t want me to interfere with her friends. I snuck out of house work by hiding in the apple tree. Mom made her read and entertain me when I was bedridden for a year. I wore her clothes and didn’t put them away. I was a horrible nuisance.

She did so many nice things for me as a teen. I was in a car accident and felt disfigured. Ila went to Lansing and bought me a prom dress that was the envy of every girl at Ludington High. Dresses in Ludington then were all alike but Ila found one in Lansing so different and stylish that I felt whole again. It was so special that dress.

Over the years, we’ve all had hard things to overcome. Overcoming the death of a child, raising a handicapped child, caring for an aging mother-in-law, caring for her own mother as she aged, living through the tragedy of her husband’s death by horrible accident; those were the biggest ones. Yet she met each trial with strength and courage.

The Bible tells us to find joy in all things especially in everyday life. Ila did that. She found such joy in the simple things of gardening, preserving, canning, baking the most fabulous bread in the world, caring for the neighbors; all these things she counted as joy. I will miss her so much. We never got to spend enough time together.

Ila was not adventuresome. She was actually a big coward. She pushed me ahead of her up the dark stairway so I would meet the bogeyman first. I had to do everything first to see if it was safe. I got back at her though, when we got older. I pushed her to climb down into the Grand Canyon and then back out. I pushed her on a long hike in Jasper National Park to an alpine meadow. That one scared me and I believed maybe she was right to be scared of some things. In Jasper, We crossed a wide stretch of snow to get to the top of the mountain. Ila was happily exclaiming over the tiny alpine flowers when I heard a thunderous roar. Across the valley I saw a huge cloud of snow erupt into the valley floor. Knowing we had to cross that snow field to get back down, I was scared witless. Ila followed me across that field high-stepping in my tracks as I went as carefully as I could back to solid ground.. I never told her about the avalanche. I was afraid she’d never go with me again. She did though and we traveled to so many places together. She went to China, Italy , Brazil and all over Europe. She loved to travel and loved to get back home.

Later, when traveling days were over we just had fun being together. Now she is the big sister again. Going ahead of me to test the waters of the unknown. This time she didn’t push me ahead of her. She went first. Hers is a graduation celebration. We celebrate her graduation to Glory with Jesus. She now has earned a life with Jesus, free of all sorrow and tears; only the joy of eternal love.

Ila has left behind a legacy of love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, gentleness and faithfulness No one exemplifies the fruits of the Spirit more than she did. She was a good friend, a good neighbor, a good mother, grandma and great grandma. Whatever role she played she did it well.

I will miss her so much. I am crying in my heart today because I should be there with you all to honor Ila’s life. I am with you in spirit though as we together feel blessed beyond measure to have had Ila in our lives.

August 19, 2013

Hi to all of You,

It is way past time to catch you up on my doings. Since I wrote last, I have come back to Ohio to a rehab facility here in Medina. It is brand new and just lovely. I feel like I am in a luxury hotel. Of course, the nurses don’t treat you any differently. You still get interrupted all the time with pill taking and vital signs taking. The worst was a pill at 2:30 a.m. for indigestion. I haven’t ever had indigestion. I was sleeping very soundly for once. I asked an experienced nurse why one might do that and she replied that maybe the nurse was trying to keep awake herself and needed something to do.

The trip back was uneventful. I worried for nothing which is a usual thing to worry about. I was not too uncomfortable and my arrival here was expected and I was treated as a special guest. This place is so beautiful. It has just opened and so the rooms are only 1/3 full. Therefore, I get a lot of attention, as does everyone else who is looking for healing here.

My Weymouth family has been very faithful to visit and so has my own family. I get to see Jackie more here than I did at home and Jess too. She has been here with the little ones several times already. Little Coley likes the open area with the gazebo best because he like to play in all the mulch. Eat it too. Jim and Kathy came to see me too. Also Lindsay and Ivan came from Huntington. Their visit was the best medicine I could have. I haven’t seen them since Mother’s Day. Jim’s van was utilized to get me to my home and I was able to sit in my very own chair for a little nap. Looking at my home and my yard just seemed so satisfying.

God has been so faithful in getting me to the right place. I know there is a purpose in everything. Who’s prayer is He answering now? Possibly it is even the person who built this place and prayed to have it be a blessing for him and for others. His plans are so intricate and go far beyond my best imaginings that I shouldn’t try to figure it all out. I have to learn to TRUST! I am trying to go along with Him and do the best I can to be a light wherever I am. Thank all of you for being an encouragement to me. You lend me the feeling that I do have a purpose. God bless and keep you until I write again. Please pray that I can find time to be alone with Jesus. I miss my alone time with Him. My time to feel His presence and talk to Him is often interrupted.

Thank you for your prayers and know that you are prayed for too.

August 9, 2013

Hi to Everyone on this gloomy Monday in Michigan.

I have spent the morning in rehab – from 9 to 12. They are working as hard as they can to get my leg back in working order. So far it is still like a big log that I have to lift around to get it anywhere. It is no longer painful, aches quite a bit but that is tolerable. I cannot put ANY weight on it so the rehab centers on getting the rest of my body stronger. When the bones heal enough, then the work of getting that leg strong again will start. I’m looking at a long process and a big bill. My medicare runs out this Friday. Fortunately, I have a supplemental insurance to help out.
Jackie is coming to get me tomorrow. She will bring me back to Medina on Sunday the 11th. Hopefully, there will be a slot for me ready and waiting. I want very much to go home to Hickory Grove, but will have to do whatever is necessary to get well first.

I am so anxious to see all of you and to have you visit me. I have been somewhat lonely here. The kids come and so do others but it is not like feeling at home in Medina where my spiritual family is nearby.

I tool around in a manual wheelchair. I am ashamed to utter one word of discontent. So many here are so much worse than I am. I wish I could gather them all up and heal their hurts. Problem is: they don’t want to be gathered up. They seem to want to just sit and scowl or holler.
I do have a lovely roommate. She has had a really sad life just like many others. Her husband was the “winningest coach” in all of Michigan and so much loved and acclaimed by all. He had a massive stroke and is unable to walk or take care of himself. She has done it by herself for twenty years plus teaching school for a good portion of those years. He has changed in temperament so that he is not the same person he used to be. Dealing with the personality change has been harder than dealing with the physical problems. She is upbeat most of the time and has a wonderful family, but I sense a reluctance to go home and into the caregiving again. Please pray for Shirley that she will learn to call on the Lord for help.

Most of the patients in this wing are knee or hip replacements. As such they are all older with worn out joints. There is another wing where the clients seemingly are just waiting to die. I feel so bad for one lady. Her name is Carolyn. She sits with a wrapped up doll in her lap, cuddling it and turning it over and over much like she would a baby. She is mobile and has learned to undo her tether. The tether is supposed to turn on a light whenever she breaks loose, but she has learned to turn it off. Then she takes off. Most of us have adjusted to her appearing somewhere out of the blue. Nevertheless, it was very disconcerting when I woke up in the semi-darkness to see this grey haired apparition leaning over my face. She was looking through my basket where I keep a pen, a remote, my Bible, books, glasses, etc. I almost screamed, but didn’t. Fortunately, I realized who it was and coaxed her to go back into the hall. So glad she went because I am rather helpless here when I get down in bed. I can’t get my legs out. I can’t bend or move one leg at all. Therefore, I am stuck like a fly in syrup. I could buzz away, but no more than that. I have a sort of gadget that helps me to move my leg. It is just strapping over thick wire that I can put over my foot and sort of haul my leg one way or another. Maybe I should ask for a better weapon than that. So far I have found it is a great back scratcher but not good for much else.

I am hoping to see many of you next week in Medina. Please pray that the trip will be gentle and not too uncomfortable. I have practiced getting in the car . It is quite a process so will get in and then endure until I reach my destination. I will be going to “The Avenue”. It is a new rehab place behind the Catholic church where Dr. Torok used to be. Very centrally located, it should be near enough for many of my friends to come visit me. So hope you all will. I have always liked Lodi for rehab, but I will be needing rehab for six to eight weeks possibly. That is a long time to be so far away. This place is brand new and so far has not too many clients. Sure hope I have made a good decision, but know nothing is written in stone. I will trust in the Lord to just lead me in the way I should go. I know from experience that when I make the wrong move, He can fix it. I try very hard to focus on Him. Some days it is so very hard. Please pray for me. I get lost often too.

Loving you as always, Irma Jane

August 1, 2013

It is Thursday, Aug 1st, and I am counting the days now until I can come home. I’ve tried not to be too anxious because that only makes the time drag out. My mornings are quite full. I don’t get to spend them with Jesus, not because the coffee is so bad, but because they get me up here at the crack of dawn and get me ready for rehab by 8. Jesus would never leave me because of bad coffee, even though it is not to be called by that name. I get breakfast and am hurried off to the PT room, then to the OT and finally to a speech therapist. She is trying to improve my gravelly voice and actually is doing a great job. Besides being a Christian, which makes her my favorite, she is as cute as a button. Also she has the most amazing fingers. She massages my jaw, my neck and my shoulder muscles. I think I have died and gone to heaven while that is happening. My neck is full of arthritis and is very stiff. She makes it all loosen up so I can smile wide and long. This all takes up the morning and wears me out totally. I have lunch and lie down for a long nap.

My afternoon is full of interruptions. That’s why I always had coffee with Jesus first. I am ashamed to say that here I have to fit Jesus in to whatever empty slots are there. I do talk to Him as often as I can though.

Jesus is in my mind all the time here. There are so many sad stories. Some of them I know, some I have to imagine. One man sits in the hall all day. He looks like he was very attractive and athletic at one time. He wears his Detroit Tigers baseball cap constantly. He is tall, has iron gray hair and very black eyebrows giving him a rather commanding appearance. His eyes are large and very brown, and – totally empty. It is so sad, those eyes. Is there someone in there? If not, where did he go? Did he know the Lord and if not, is it too late? Does our Lord address this anywhere in His word? I’d really like to know.

I am so proud of the aides who are very kind to all they take care of. They are special to our Lord, I know. He loves that kind of love. However, all of them are not so loving. They take good care but I heard one of them call a patient “Shaky”. Not to his face, of course, but it is disrespectful and it hurt to think of what they might be calling me behind my back. Our words hurt mightily. God want us to have self control especially when our tongues get wagging. Probably one of my worst areas.

I went down to occupational therapy just a few minutes ago. There was the man in his Tigers baseball cap. He has been sitting so long that he can no longer straighten out his legs. They make an effort to remedy that with weights, etc. and he does not protest nor does he react at all. They continue to work on him constantly telling him to close his mouth and to swallow. Finally! He closes his mouth and seemingly swallows the drool. They praise him greatly and guess what? There is a tiny little quirk at the corner of his mouth and even a hint of a dimple! What a victory! Such a small gain, but a gain nonetheless. God works on us in such very small increments too. And He is just as elated over our tiny gains.

How much I love getting your comments on facebook or on my web page. Also, I look with anticipation through the e-mails, hoping to hear from anyone. Thank you for thinking of me. I am so blessed to have all of you as a part of my family. Jesus’ presence is through your presence and so I thank Him for you. God bless and keep you safe until the next “Coffee with Jesus.”

July 31, 2013

As you are aware, I have plenty of time to meditate on plenty of things. Today I was thinking of my favorite spot in the cottage – my chair in the front window where I can see in three directions. I particularly remember the glorious path the sun made as it came up and shone on the water. It was almost too beautiful to look at as it sparkled and shone. Glittering in gold, sparkling in light, each little ripple on the water shining like two thousand jewels, it made a walkway fit for the highest king of all. Indeed, it was a path fit for Jesus to walk on as He came to have coffee with me.

I have been with Jesus every morning now for nearly two years. He has been my companion and friend through all the rough times. His presence has been desperately needed as an encourager and as the very foundation of just keeping me going. Without Him there, I would have faltered and given up. Without His comfort, promises and answers to prayer I would have given in to complaining and grumbling and making people miserable. I humbly acknowledge that it has been Jesus who held me like His child through all the tough times. It has been Jesus who came down to my level and sat with me. He consoled me with His word so my heart was lightened. Jesus has been close.

Today, I read in Colossians about His Glory. He has all power and glorious might. He has delivered us from darkness. He has taken our sins on His own shoulders. He has created ALL THINGS. He is before all things and He holds ALL THINGS together. Without Jesus even our earth would cease operating as it does. He is the beginning and the end on earth and in heaven. He loves me, He helps me, He walks and talks with me. He has come to have coffee with me.