April 12, 2012

I am still at J D’s after my chemo treatment. I sit in the sunshine with his two dogs lying as close to me as they can get. I ask Jesus to be with me and wish, like the dogs, to feel closeness to Him. I think I am wishing for the impossible to want physical closeness, but spiritual closeness is coming a little at a time. I find myself turning to Him more often during the day. Busyness doesn’t control me as much. His name pops into my mind more often.

I read in the “Daily Bread” that prayer keeps us in touch always. I knew that, but it is good to be reminded and to renew the habit of turning to Him during the day not just be close in the AM over coffee. Instead of thinking, “How can I solve this problem on my own,” maybe I should try to ask for His wisdom and then think about it.

Practically, that is hard to do. I have lots to do even sitting in this chair. There are the daily chores, bills to pay, doctors to see, questions to remember to ask, people to contact, those who don’t behave the way we think they should, sit on hold on the phone, more dealing with people, and the list goes on. I don’t ask for His help first. I respond from my busy head. I resolve to try to ask His help first instead of fretting and worrying about what I should do. I think the answers will come quicker. I will ask for wisdom and I am promised that if I ask with faith I will be given direction. “If any of you lack wisdom, he should ask God who gives generously and it will be given to him, but he should ask without doubt that it will be given” (James 1:5).

Just a short little prayer: ” Be with me. Help me to be right with You.”